Can't Fight The Moonlight
by RukbatLupa
Summary: Remus' past girlfriend reflects on her need for Remus. They meet in a bar shortly after Harry's Third year. Then something happens, to change both their lives, forever.


You're a werewolf. Like that's supposed to matter to me. Like it should matter to anyone. You are whomever you chose to be. Oh, Remus . . . I do love you.

  
  


*~*~Under a lover's sky

Gonna be with you

And no one's gonna be around

If you think that you won't fall

Well just wait until

'Til the sun goes down*~*~

  
  


It's dangerous, and its doubled by the fact that you're in Gryffindor. I don't care. 

  
  


*~*~Underneath the starlight, starlight

There's a magical feeling so right

It will steal your heart tonight*~*~

  
  


I want it to be so much more than that. More than a feeling, more than a deep want that makes me cry at night. More like a romance. 

  
  


*~*~You can try to resist

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight*~*~

  
  


Time passed, and we grew further apart. James and Lily were betrayed, and Sirius blamed. Sirius, the one man who would have died than see them die, was blamed for James and Lily's deaths. He never knew, but I watched Harry grow up into the fine young man he is today. Slowly, year by year, I waited for word from you. Of you. I then saw that you had been at Hogwarts, and a leap of joy went through my heart. Now, I thought, now we will be together. But it wasn't meant to be. 

  
  


*~*~Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

No...

You can't fight it...

It's gonna get to your heart*~*~

  
  


I was unable to get to Hogwarts, unable to do so many things. Remus. I still love you. Still want you. Still need you.

  
  


*~*~There's no escaping love

Once a gentle breeze

Weaves its spell upon your heart

No matter what you think

It won't be too long

'Til you're in my arms*~*~

  
  


So, I will find you. I will see you soon, because the year is almost over. I will see you. That is all I need. 

  
  


*~*~Underneath the starlight, starlight

We'll be lost in the rhythm so right

Feel it steal your heart tonight

  
  


You can try to resist

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

  
  


No...

You can't fight it...

  
  


No matter what you do

  
  


The night is gonna get to you*~*~ 

  
  


The transformations, hurt, I know. But they can't be any worse than this. I walk into the tavern, hoping against hope. And there you are. Buried in a single-malt whiskey. Forgetting everything. Forgetting me? 

  
  


~*~

"Remus Lupin?" The voice was familiar, but I'd be damned if I remembered my own name right now. 

"Huh?" I'm SO articulate when drunk. 

"I'm a friend of yours from school. Voida Heylin?" I remember. The nice one. The one I nearly . . . God, I want to . . . 

"Yeah, I remember you. James always asked me when we were getting married." 

  
  


*~*~Don't try you're never gonna win*~*~

  
  


"Remus. It's been forever. Do you want to maybe come back to my flat and do some catching up?" Hell, YES. 

"Nah. I got things to do this weekend." WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING? 

"Are you sure you can't put them off?" Her eyes start shining for some reason.

*~*~Underneath the starlight, starlight

There's a magical feeling so right

It will steal your heart tonight*~*~

  
  


"Actually, I can. Where's your flat?" 

"Not far." 

  
  


*~*~You can try to resist

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

No...

You can't fight it...*~*~

  
  


By the time we got to the flat, we were hanging off of each other like the teenagers we once were. I noticed that it was late afternoon. "I can't stay long."

"Why?" She smiled rakishly.

"Full moon tonight."

  
  


*~*~You can try to resist

Try to hide from my kiss

But you know, don't you know

That you can't fight the moonlight

Deep in the dark

You'll surrender your heart

But you know, but you know

That you can't fight the moonlight*~*~

  
  


The woods were peaceful, the opposite of my tormented heart. A few moments. Just a few moments.

  
  


*~*~No...*~*~

  
  


The moon rose, yellow and foreboding. I felt a million knives stabbing me all over my body. 

  
  


*~*~You can't fight it...*~*~

  
  


You can't fight it. That just makes it worse. I slumped to the ground, my robes ripping. I wondered for the briefest instant what new robes would look like. Clean robes. Robes with no tears.

  
  
  
  


*~*~It's gonna get to your heart . . .*~*~ 

  
  


I tilted my wolf's head back, and howled. In anguish, for all I had lost, for all that had happened. And for what I had done.

  
  


"Stay."

"I can't."

"Please! Just for a little while!" 

"I CAN'T! I may hurt you."

"PLEASE!" 

  
  


She followed me. And as my wolf's brain rejoiced in fresh meat, My soul flew from my body. Never to return. 


End file.
